


Cold Nights

by katie_049



Series: Nights (Season 16) [2]
Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Nights Series, Post 16x13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 14:46:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18606682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katie_049/pseuds/katie_049
Summary: “Nick,” her voice pulled him out of his thoughts, and he let his gaze wander over to her again. “I don’t think I can sleep tonight.”





	Cold Nights

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back with another episode tag. This time it's for 16x13 and I kind of also created a series because I have this idea in my mind. Just so you know, the next part in this series will be 16x18.
> 
> I do feel like somethings missing here, but I couldn't find it. So bear with me. 
> 
> Thanks again to my beta reader Shaquille_oatmeal726.
> 
> Edit: I just realized it got the wrong title ... of corse it doesn’t have the same title as the last one. My bad!

The blaring of the TV was the only sound heard as Nick zapped through the channels on his TV. Nothing caught his interest and he settled on an action movie he had watched a few years back, knowing it was ending soon anyways. He was laying stretched out in the corner of his couch, propped up on his left side on a stack of pillows. As he focused on the TV, he felt his eyes close, a wave of exhaustion flowing through his body. Luckily, he had already changed into his sweatpants. If he fell asleep now, he would at least be comfortable even though his back wouldn’t be thanking him the next morning.

A knock on the door made him open his eyes again and he shifted, grabbing his phone from the coffee table. It was past 11pm already. Groaning, he sat up, rubbing his eyes. There were no messages or missed calls on his phone and he wondered who would show up this late on his doorstep.

Getting up from the couch, he walked around it and crossed the small distance to the front door, opening it. He was greeted by the sight of his blonde partner who looked disheveled. Her usually perfectly styled, blonde locks hung loosely down her shoulders and her cheeks seemed too pale for his liking. She was still wearing the scarf that Abby had gotten her, but she had apparently changed into her spare clothes after she got back from the hospital, her NCIS sweater exchanged for one of her white sweaters she often wore to work.

He was surprised by her presence. She always texted him before coming over. Granted, he usually went over to her place, but the few times she had been over, he always knew she was coming. She also never stayed later than 10pm on a work night, claiming that sleep was important, and they needed the energy because they could always catch a new case.

“Hey,” Ellie greeted him, looking up to him with her big brown eyes. “Can I come in?”

He blinked a few times, shaking his surprise away before opening the door a little wider and stepping to the side. “Of course.” He’d always let her in, no questions asked.

His partner walked past him, kicking off her adidas sneakers in his entryway and placing them next to his own boots on the shoe rack next to the door. As she shrugged out of her jacket, he closed his front door, locking it. When he turned to her again, she had already hung up her jacket right next to his. Her things fit perfectly next to his, he wondered how it would feel if she always came home to him after work, greeting him with a smile and kiss, and he had to stop the images ghosting through his head.

He continued watching her as she stepped around his couch and let herself fall down onto the soft cushion. She leaned against the back, before pulling her legs up to her chest, hugging them with her arms.

Wrinkling his forehead, he bit the inside of his lip. She was unusually quiet, and she hadn’t smiled at all since she arrived. Crossing the small distance to the couch, he sat back down in the corner of the L-shaped couch. He loved his couch because it was big enough for two people to lay down completely, but today it placed Ellie too far away from him.

He eyed the blonde woman on his left side. Her chin was resting on top of her knees and her eyes were trained on the TV. She didn’t look like she wanted to talk so Nick kept his mouth shut, reaching for the remote control of his TV and handing it to her. The movie he chose just a few minutes ago had ended already.

She silently grabbed it, flipping through the channels for some time before stopping at a documentary about lions and the wildlife in Africa. It wasn’t something he would have watched, but tonight wasn’t about him. It was about Ellie; his beautiful, blonde partner that wasn’t quite herself. He couldn’t blame her after the day she had. The case about Morgan and her daughter had affected her deeply.

He felt so helpless when he wasn’t able to locate Ellie at the lake after he took down Morgan's abductor. His mind had come up with terrible images of Ellie laying in the grass by the lake, bleeding. When he found her soaked to the bone, holding a coughing Morgan in her arms, the weight was lifted off his shoulders and he felt like he could breathe again. Even now, hours later his mind was still whirling with possible what if’s because this whole scenario could have taken a totally different turn.

“Nick,” her voice pulled him out of his thoughts, and he let his gaze wander over to her again. “I don’t think I can sleep tonight.”

He let out a sigh, glad that she was starting to talk, and he kept quiet, knowing better than to pry.

“I keep having nightmares,” she confessed, her focus shifting from the TV to the floor of his living room. “Ever since Vicious almost shot me, I wake up every night, hearing the bullet hit the cutlery behind me.”

“Ellie,” he whispered, his hand reaching out to her, but she sat too far away from him. Damn, that big couch. He was surprised to hear about her nightmares. Especially after her obsession with Ziva David. He thought her silence had to do with her, but he had no clue that his partner was still dreaming about the shooting from weeks ago. If he’d known, he would have tried to help her.

“Tonight, when I jumped into the lake to safe Morgan, Hill shot at me. He only fired three times, but the bullets swooshed past me in the water. It was fine down there. I was so focused on finding Morgan, I didn’t fully register it,” she stopped, lifting her head from her knees. “But now, all I hear is the sound of the bullet passing me in the water, mixed with the sound of the cutlery breaking.” She shuddered, drawing in a strained breath. “And then I can’t breathe anymore and I just feel so cold.”

“Why didn’t you say something earlier?” He asked, leaning towards her. The thought of her waking up at night, panicked and disoriented, made him shudder as well. It was something he hoped she would never have to feel. “Have you talked with Jack about these nightmares?”

She shook her head, lowering her legs. She leaned forward, planting her elbows on her knees and resting her head in her hands. “After I came back from Oklahoma, everybody had moved on and nobody was talking about Vicious or the baby anymore and I just wanted to forget about it too.”

“But why didn’t you come to me with this, Ellie?” He questioned her, trying to get her to look at him. “I’ll always be there for you and I won’t ever judge.”

“It’s just hard, Nick,” she pressed out, shaking her head in her hands. “I’ve been on my own for a while now and I learned to fight my own battles.” She sat up, staring back towards the TV. “I just _hate_ being like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like I can’t handle it alone.” She exclaimed, jumping to her feet. “Like I’m the weak one on the team that can’t handle getting shot at. We’ve all been shot at a million times and I’m the only one that’s spinning out of control.” She huffed, putting her hands onto her hips. “I wasn’t even hurt.”  

“And I thank every god for that,” he mumbled under his breath.

Ellie didn’t even spare him a glance as she stomped all the way through the living room to the window that was looking over the dark street outside his condo.

He scratched the back of his neck, drawing in a breath and releasing it again. “Look, B. Just because nobody is talking about getting shot at, doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect us. We all respond differently to these situations.”

“But you still get it together and it doesn’t affect your work,” she countered, crossing her arms in front of her. It was a sign that she was getting frustrated and he stood up from the couch and crossed the small distances between them.

“Ellie, you didn’t let it affect your work. Hell, I haven’t even noticed you’re running low on sleep,” he scowled her, stopping a few feet away from her, “and I’m your partner.”

“Why can’t I just deal with this on my own? Why am I not strong enough for this?” She muttered, shaking her head.

“You don’t have to go through this alone, Ellie. I’m here and I can help you.” He stretched his hand out to her, laying it on her shoulder. “It’s okay to ask for help.”

She continued staring stubbornly out of the window, not moving an inch or acknowledging his touch, but he was done waiting for her. She had been keeping her nightmares hidden from him for two months already and he wasn’t going to waste another second. He stepped closer, laying his other hand on her right shoulder as he came to stand behind her. He started to rub his hands up and down her upper arms, and she stayed still, allowing his touch.

“Ellie, I’ve been over at your place so many times in the last few weeks, you could have told me about the nightmares,” he started again, his voice soft, but urging. “I would have stayed on your couch all night, if that’s what makes you feel better. You know I would do pretty much anything for you. Please tell me you know that.”

She swallowed. “Don’t blame yourself, Nick. You couldn’t have known. I’ve been hiding this from everyone.”

“Well, I’m not everyone,” he growled, and she flinched. He stepped closer to her, his chest pressing against her back. “I’m your partner and we need to tell each other about these things.”

His hands stopped their movement, coming to rest on her upper arms. He gently applied pressure, urging her to turn around. After a second of hesitation, she complied and turned to face him.

She bit down on her bottom lip, her hazel brown eyes shimmering in the flickering light of the TV, focusing on the fabric of his shirt by his shoulder. For the first time, he saw the tiny red lines in the sclera of her eyes. How could he not have noticed them earlier? He was observing her half of the day, not being able to concentrate on his work when she was sitting across from him in the bullpen. Had he really not been this close to her the last few weeks?

“I don’t want to close my eyes because every time I do, my ears start ringing again and I keep flashing…” She stopped, her teeth sinking into her lips, biting down, before she let out a breath and looked up to him. “I’m so tired, Nick.”

“So, sleep. I’ll be here with you the whole time,” he promised her, his hands covering her cheek as his thumb caressed the soft skin over her cheekbone.

She nodded against his hand, closing her eyes and taking a couple of deep breaths. “Can I stay with you tonight?”

“You’ll never have to ask.”

He was glad she was staying because he wasn’t sure he could sleep either, if she was halfway across town tonight. He had come too close to loosing her today. He needed her near him tonight and if that meant he had to take the couch; he would do that in a heartbeat.

“You can take my bed, and I’ll sleep on the couch,” he offered, letting his hand slip from her face. “I knew a big couch would pay up some day.” He added, trying to lighten the mood.

She did smile, but it seemed forced and he immediately turned serious again. “If that’s not what you want, we can come up with a different arrangement. I just thought you might be more comfortable there. I can change the sheets, if that makes you feel better.”

“I don’t wanna be alone, Nick.” She glanced up to him with her big, hazel brown eyes, her words raw, hitting him right in the heart. She was letting him in and asking for his help. Two things she didn’t often do.

His gaze turned soft as he cocked his head to the side. A soft smile played at his lips and he opened his arms for her, and without anymore hesitation, she stepped into his embrace, her head nuzzling against his neck and her arms wrapping tightly around his middle. One of his hands tangled in her hair and he pressed a kiss to her head as he held her close.

“I’m right here with you, B, and I won’t leave your side until you tell me otherwise,” he promised her again, burying his nose in her hair and breathing in her scent.

Holding her in his arms was one of the best feelings he had felt in a while. He was aware of his feelings for his partner. He stopped denying them a while ago and ever since then, he felt a lot better around her. Nick knew she wasn’t ready for the next step and he accepted her choice, because in moments like this, he knew Ellie felt more for him than just friendship. Today proved to him that he was her _person_. The person she would come to if she was in trouble or had problems. The person she trusted enough to let her guard down. And that felt like a step in the right direction for them as more than just friends.

She shivered in his arms, pressing herself closer to him and he started to rub her back.

“Are you still cold from the water?” He asked. When he collected the water for his jar, he had felt the low temperature of the water. It was mid-February and the temperatures were still below zero sometimes. She must have been freezing.

Instead of answering, she nodded into his neck, her hands fisting his sweatshirt on his back.

“How about I make you something warm to eat? I bet you haven’t eaten much today,” he suggested, loosing their embrace to look at her.

She lifted her head from his shoulder, a small genuine smile ghosting over her lips. “I’d like that.”

He chuckled. He was amazed by her food intake and it was definitely one of the things that made him fall for her.

“Alright, let’s go then.” He untangled his hand from her hair while keeping his other arm wrapped around her waist. He guided her back to the couch, pushing her down in the corner into the pile of pillows he had used earlier.

She settled down, sinking into the pillows, her legs stretching out in front of her. He grabbed one of the throw blankets from the arm of the couch, spreading it over her legs and tugging it up to her chin.

“Hopefully this will warm you up until I’m finished with your food.” He smoothed out a wrinkle in the blanket on her shoulder, just to touch her again. “I’ll try to be quick.”

He turned around to leave, when she grabbed his hand, stopping him. Her cold fingers wrapped around his and she gently pulled him closer to her again. He turned back to her, glancing down.

“Thank you, Nick.” She squeezed his hand, gazing up to him with gratitude in her eyes.

“You’ll never have to thank me for being there for you, Ellie. There is no place I’d rather be.” He squeezed her hand back, sending her one last smile before letting go of her hand and walking away from the couch and into his kitchen area that was adjoining his living room.

It took everything in him to leave her on the couch. The urge to sit down next to her and kiss her senseless or even just to wrap her in his arms was overwhelming, but he restrained himself. The day would come and hopefully it wasn’t too far away anymore.

Later that night, when Ellie had eaten, they went to sleep in his bed together. They laid down facing each other, and he held her hand as she fell asleep next to him. There was a respectable distance between them that later vanished when Ellie woke up from her nightmare. She had tossed around next to him for a few minutes and he tried to help her settle again, rubbing her arm, but as her tossing got worse and she gasped for air, he shook her awake, pulling her into his arms.

She clung to him so tightly, he was afraid she wouldn’t fall back asleep again. He stroked through her hair, muttering nonsense into her ear and she calmed down, wrapped around his body, falling asleep in his arms.

She didn’t wake up again that night and neither did he, both of them content to be close to one another.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!   
> Leave some kudos!


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